Learn how to use tags, italics, punctuation, and more to format your character’s thoughts and other internal dialogue.
If you write fiction, you’ve probably found yourself wondering how to handle internal discourse. Internal discourse is a character’s inner voice, thoughts, and imagined dialogue.
In last month’s tip, “How to Punctuate Dialogue,” we discussed where to put your commas, what the difference is between dialogue tags and action beats, and how to punctuate different forms of speech. In this tip, we will do a deep dive into writing internal discourse. And though there are different approaches, we hope to clear up the mystery of writing internal discourse once and for all.
Before we begin, let’s review a few helpful definitions associated with dialogue:
Dialogue: Spoken words
Dialogue Tag: Speaker and verb of utterance
Action Beat: Any action
The graphic below gives you an example of all three of these elements working together.
Writing internal discourse is similar to writing dialogue except instead of using a dialogue tag, we can use a thought tag or omit a tag completely.
So, how should you punctuate internal discourse? Should you use italics? Question marks? No formatting with thought tags only? Good news—there’s no single “correct” method; the most important thing to remember is consistency, consistency, consistency. So, pick one method and stick to it throughout your book.
There are three methods you can use to write internal discourse:
Italics
Roman
Quotation Marks
It is important to note that in modern fiction, italics are preferred, followed by roman. Quotation marks are mostly a thing of the past.
Italics
Italics are recommended by The Chicago Manual of Style (the style guide used by most fiction book publishers) and are the most common way to punctuate internal discourse in a novel. No need for quotation marks—just italicize the words to show that they’re being thought rather than spoken. Italics can be used with or without thought tags (e.g., I thought, he wondered, she considered). However, thought tags are usually seen as redundant and are normally not used in modern fiction.
Without thought tag:
He’s never coming back.
Why did I agree to this?
With thought tag:
He’s never coming back, I thought.
Why, I wondered, did I agree to this?
When writing internal discourse with a thought tag, a comma is used to separate the thought from the thought tag, just as you would with dialogue. However, note that while the thought itself appears in italics, the comma, period, and thought tags are not italicized.
Using italics to write internal discourse is mostly used in third-person limited and first-person narratives, in which the story closely follows one character’s perspective at a time. It’s clear, easy to read, and avoids confusion with spoken dialogue.
Let’s see how italicized internal thoughts work in a piece of writing that includes action beats.
He’s never coming back, she thought, picking up his note. Why am I always so trusting?
He’s never coming back. She picked up his note. Why am I always so trusting?
In the first example, a comma separates the italicized thought from the thought tag. Another comma separates the thought tag from the action beat, and a period ends the action beat. The comma, tag, and action beat are not italicized.
In the second example, there is no thought tag. There is just an action beat, which is separated from the thoughts with periods and not italicized.
Here are examples of thoughts and dialogue being used together:
“Hey, Mom!” Why did she have to call at a time like this? I thought.
“Hey, Mom!” Why did she have to call at a time like this?
Notice the dialogue is roman and in quotation marks, the thought is italicized with no quotation marks, and the thought tag is roman with no quotation marks.
Now, let’s look at an example with dialogue, thoughts, and action beats.
Samantha spotted Jake sitting at a corner booth, stirring his drink absentmindedly.
I should have canceled. She took a deep breath and walked over.
“Hey,” she said, forcing a smile. Wow, was he always this tan?
Jake looked up, his expression unreadable. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”
She slid into the chair. Don’t be a wimp. It’s one cup of coffee. Now that she was in front of him, Samantha didn’t know what to say.
Jake cleared his throat. “So . . . how have you been?”
How had she been? That was a loaded question. Do I tell him the truth? That I’ve been alternating between rage, regret, and an embarrassing amount of ice cream?
In spoken dialogue, when there is a new speaker, we start a new paragraph. The same rule goes for thoughts. If a new person is speaking or thinking, then start a new paragraph. Spoken dialogue and internal discourse, if done by the same person, can be put in the same paragraph.
Roman
If you don’t like using italics or if your text is very thought-heavy, another option is to leave the thought in roman (a.k.a. unformatted). This method integrates a character’s thoughts seamlessly into the narration with minimal disruptions. Like italics, roman can be used with or without thought tags.
Without thought tag:
He’s never coming back.
Why did I agree to this?
With thought tag:
He’s never coming back, she thought.
Why, I asked myself, did I agree to this?
Notice that the thought and thought tags are separated by commas.
Let’s look at these same examples paired with action beats.
Without thought tag:
She stared at the empty chair. He’s never coming back.
Why did I agree to this? I stared dumbly at Logan’s outstretched hand.
With thought tag:
She stared at the empty chair. He’s never coming back, she thought.
Why, I asked myself, did I agree to this? I stared dumbly at Logan’s outstretched hand.
How does it work with dialogue?
Without thought tag:
“Hey, Mom!” Why did she have to call at a time like this?
With thought tag:
“Hey, Mom!” Why did she have to call at a time like this? I thought.
This approach works well in first-person and third-person perspectives in which the narrative closely follows a character’s inner world. In other words, unformatted internal dialogue may work in stories where it is obvious that a character is thinking, not talking aloud.
Now, let’s see how internal discourse in roman type works with action beats, thought tags, and dialogue.
Samantha spotted Jake sitting at a corner booth, stirring his drink absentmindedly.
She should have canceled. She took a deep breath and walked over.
“Hey,” she said, forcing a smile. Was he always this tan?
Jake looked up, his expression unreadable. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”
She slid into the chair. Don’t be a wimp, she told herself. It’s one cup of coffee. Now that she was in front of him, Samantha didn’t know what to say.
Jake cleared his throat. “So . . . how have you been?”
How had she been? That was a loaded question. Does she tell him the truth? That she’s been alternating between rage, regret, and an embarrassing amount of ice cream?
Quotation Marks
In the past, writers used quotation marks around both spoken and internal dialogue. However, this practice is rarely used in modern publishing. When thoughts are in quotation marks, you can use thought tags or leave them out.
Without thought tag:
“He’s never coming back.”
“Why did I agree to this?”
With thought tag:
“He’s never coming back,” she thought.
“Why,” I asked myself, “did I agree to this?”
Thoughts in quotation marks are punctuated exactly the same as spoken dialogue. Using the same method for spoken and internal discourse is tempting because that’ll mean having to only learn one method. However, using quotation marks for internal dialogue can be confusing for readers, as you’ll see below:
Without thought tag:
“Hey, Mom!” “Why did she have to call at a time like this?”
With thought tag:
“Hey, Mom!” “Why did she have to call at a time like this?” I thought.
The confusion and awkwardness of using quotation marks are obvious in these short examples. Let’s look at our longer example with thought tags, action beats, and spoken dialogue:
Samantha spotted Jake sitting at a corner booth, stirring his drink absentmindedly.
“I should have canceled,” Samantha thought. She took a deep breath and walked over.
“Hey,” she said, forcing a smile. “Wow, was he always this tan?”
Jake looked up, his expression unreadable. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”
She slid into the chair. “Don’t be a wimp. It’s one cup of coffee,” she told herself. Now that she was in front of him, Samantha didn’t know what to say.
Jake cleared his throat. “So . . . how have you been?”
How had she been? That was a loaded question. “Do I tell him the truth? That I’ve been alternating between rage, regret, and an embarrassing amount of ice cream?”
In the example above, because Samantha’s thoughts are enclosed in quotation marks, readers might be confused about which thoughts she is saying to herself and which she is voicing aloud to Jake. It’s never a good idea to make your readers do extra work to figure out what is going on. For this reason, publishers and writers do not typically put thoughts in quotation marks.
Conclusion: Choosing a Method
Remember: italics are the most common and preferred method of formatting character thoughts. But getting the hang of writing internal discourse in fiction really comes down to picking a method that works for your style and the story you’re writing. The goal is to make your character’s thoughts easy to follow and help readers feel like they're right there inside your character's head. Again, the most important factor of choosing the method you’ll use is consistency.
The Published Examples
“What do you call this?” he said. Purgatory, I thought. I stayed silent. “What do you call this, Amy? Huh? What do you call this? This isn’t life, according to Miss Amazing?” “It’s not my idea of life,” I said, and he took three big steps toward me, and I thought: He looks like he’s going to . . . And then he was slamming against me and I was falling.
(Flynn, Gillian. Gone Girl. Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 2014.)
Gone Girl is told from the perspective of two characters who often say one thing but think another. Italics work well to distinguish thoughts from spoken dialogue.
Huh, I thought. I looked up at the carving again and I felt something, almost like a slight haptic tingling in my brain. The information box popped up again. I closed it. Weird. I could control the information with my mind. I could open information boxes on certain items by focusing on them. I could close the boxes by mentally clicking the X with my mind. That means they’re in your head. Maybe this isn’t really happening. Maybe you’re asleep, and this is all some sort of high-tech simulation. Like in the Matrix movies.
(Dinniman, Matt. Dungeon Crawler Carl. Ace, 2024.)
This passage uses italics with and without thought tags. Both are equally understandable.
I have them, these attacks of the past, like faintness, a wave sweeping over my head. Sometimes it can hardly be borne. What is to be done, what is to be done, I thought. There is nothing to be done.
(Atwood, Margaret. The Handmaid's Tale. Anchor Books, 1998.)
This passage is from a novel focused on one woman’s largely internal perspective of the world around her. Her thoughts do not need to be distinguished through italics.
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